Stories and Jokes that might amuse you!
I was delivering some guitars to a music shop a while back and a woman came in to buy a plectrum for her son. "Which type would you like?" asked the shop assistant, spreading a small selection on the counter.. Somewhat confused, the woman asked what the difference was between them. "These are hard ones..." he said pointing at one end of the selection, " Oh, I'll take an easy one then" she said.!!!
A customer once phoned me for some advice on pickups for his Strat. He asked what I thought of Semen Duncan pickups!... Well what could I say?#
Q. How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A. 20... 1 to change the bulb... and 19 to say they could have done it better.
I had a phone call in 1997.... "Er, hello is that Simon? I'm phoning about the guitar" (!?!)
Slightly amused at his highly detailed enquiry I asked
his name, thinking that it must be a guitar that I had booked in sometime in
the last couple of days.
"Mark" he said! (Hmmmm,very informative I thought)
I asked him what guitar it was... "An electric one " he said. Well that narrows it down to a couple of thousand I thought.
It didn't ring a bell so, I asked if this was a guitar I already actually had in my possession, or was he trying to arrange to deliver it for repairs. "No, you already have it" he said.
After a further 10 minutes of interrogation, I managed to wean enough information out of the guy to ascertain that it was a Yamaha SG2000
Still none the wiser and worried that it was something
I had forgotten to collect from a shop, I asked if he had left it at
a shop or delivered it directly to me.
"I delivered it to you" was the reply.
I was getting a bit peeved at the lack of information from the guy by now so, to try to jog my memory, I asked what was wrong with it... "It had a damaged neck but I asked if you could hold on to it until I got my wages".
I was becoming increasingly confused and worried beacause I could remember absolutely NOTHING about this guitar, so I asked exactly what day it was that he had delivered it to me...
"1989" he said....!
.... Just like in the Two Ronnies sketch, I replied... "It'll be ready a week Tuesday"!
SOME OF THE BEST REASONS CUSTOMERS HAVE GIVEN ME FOR CAUSE OF DAMAGE TO GUITARS!
"My mother in law sat on it"
"The cat fell down the stairs and put his claws through the top trying to stop himself "
"I held it up to protect myself and his fist went right through it"
"I reversed over it in my Jeep"
"My wife threw it at me through the patio window glass... but we laugh about it now" (!)
"A stack of shelves fell on it"
"The leg of the bed went through the top" (Whaa?)
"I dropped it over the wall when trying to shake the water out"
"It came off in my hand, honest"
"I aimed for his head but it missed and hit the lamp post instead"
But the most common one is... "It seemed like a good idea at the time "
I have to mention the most innocent request I ever had for a USA Strat... not at all suspicious I am sure!
"Can you remove the headstock logo and serial number please... I just dont like them, oh and can you spray it a different colour too"
(YEAH RIGHT! Mr Plod duly informed).
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